Black Cat Quickies
by Qaddafi the Ripper
Summary: A series of unrelated drabbles. Rated for innuendo.


**Black Cat Quickies**  
**Author:** Qaddafi the Ripper  
**Fandom:** Black Cat  
**Summary:** A series of unrelated drabbles. Rated for innuendo.

Drabble 1: Motivation

"Annual Milk Drinking Contest?" Sven read aloud the sign. He sighed. "I should have known it would be something stupid like this. For one, very brief moment, I thought your errand was something important."

Train turned on him with a hurt look. "Stupid? There's nothing stupid about a contest."

"Yes, there is," Eve contradicted flatly.

Pretending he hadn't heard her, Train added, "And the first place prize is a year's supply of milk and ten thousand dollars."

There was a moment of hesitation before Sven grabbed him by the arm and shoved him towards the contestant registry table. "What are you waiting for?" he demanded. "Go win! Second place is unacceptable!"

Drabble 2: Benefits of Warp

One of her classmates ran up to her with a horrified expression. "Kyoko! You were part of the Hoshi no Shito?" she gasped. Hearing her question, the other girls turned equally frightened looks on Kyoko.

Kyoko gazed back at them with a blank smile. "I'm part of what?"

"Hoshi no Shito," another girl repeated. "The terrorist organization. Wow, what's it like?"

She paused before answering. "I've already left the Hoshi no Shito," she assured her friends. "And it was pretty fun. Ekidona-san could teleport out of stores without having to pay first."

Drabble 3: Love is Pain

"I'm so happy you're taking me to meet your parents," Janos exclaimed. He hovered beside Rinslet and gazed at her in adoration. "This means you're finally falling in love with me!"

"Be on your best behavior," Rinslet instructed sternly, not bothering to dignify his claim with an answer. "And, so help me God, if you hit on my little sister, I will kill you."

Janos gave her a bright smile and a thumbs up. "You can count on me!"

Rinslet sighed but decided to trust him for the moment. But she really wasn't surprised when, the instant he saw her little sister, Janos shouted, "Wow! You're gorgeous! Would you like to go on a date with me?" Rinslet paused for one one second to mourn over his cluelessness before she proceeded to give him the beating of a lifetime.

Drabble 4: Models

Shiki was walking past Creed's room when he heard a strange sound that made him stop. He frowned and leaned closer to the door, not quite able to place the sound and annoyed with his inability to do so. He was still standing there wondering ten minutes later when Doctor found him. "What are you doing?" Doctor asked.

"I hear something," Shiki replied, "but I don't know what it is." He glared at Doctor, daring him to ask why he hadn't knocked on the door or sent in an insect to find out.

Doctor, fortunately for himself, caught the dare and wisely didn't ask. "Creed's playing. He just got a model train."

Shiki paused. "Train as in the thing that moves and carries passengers and cargo, or Train as in..."

Doctor considered. "Judging by how happy he was, both."

Drabble 5: Uneducated

"As of today, you are a Chronos Number," Sephiria told him formally. "I except you to always do your duty, and to bear the honor of being a Chronos Number with pride."

Train nodded. "I will."

"Good. Then I make you Number Thirteen. This gun, Hades, will be your weapon, and the proof of your skill."

Train eagerly accepted the weapon, studying it eagerly. The he noticed something that made him frown. "What's this on the side?" he asked, pointing.

Sephiria looked. "It's the number thirteen."

"No it's not. It's an X and three I's."

"... You never went to school long enough to learn Roman numerals," Sephiria deduced.

Train stared blankly. "Roman what?"

Drabble 6: Company

Sheldon paused, considered the situation as calmly and rationally as he could, and took a deep breath. He turned to look at his constant companion. Kyoko was smiling broadly and eating a chocolate chip cookie. "Kyoko-san... why are you here with me?" he asked slowly.

She made a face. "Sheldon-san! I told you already! I stay with you because I wouldn't want you to be lonely!"

He allowed himself a smile. It was nice to have someone care for him. "That wasn't quite what I meant," he explained. "I appreciate you traveling with me." He paused and glanced around his surroundings again and gave thanks that no one else was nearby. "But I don't really get lonely when I go to the bathroom."

Drabble 7: Thorough Transformation

"Just how much of yourself can you transform?" Leon asked.

Eve paused to consider. "I can create wings, and I can change my legs into a tail," she reminded him.

"But could you change your entire body?" he persisted.

She allowed herself a smirk as she decided to show off. She concentrated and a moment later, where Eve had stood a moment before, stood a second Leon. "I've learned to change my entire body," she informed him.

He paused and walked around her, inspecting her transformation. Then he asked, "Did _everything_ change? Or only what I can see?"

Eve paused for a moment before she understood what he meant. Then she gave him a disgusted look and walked away. Why would she ever want to be male all the way?

Drabble 8: Private Places

His copy technique completed, Etesu considered his new body happily. Ekidona had had him copy Tiayu for her brain, and his new intelligence made him happy, but it was the body that he especially liked. He pulled the front of his robe out and looked down. His large breasts entranced his vision, and he poked at them for a few minutes. It was rather fun. This was the first female body he'd had, and he decided he liked it.

Then he reached down further and started scratching. It felt different than a male body, but it was still pleasant. He began groping himself with more enthusiasm when a shriek of dismay made him look up. From the other side of the room, the two sweepers were both bright red. Tiayu looked like she was about to faint from horror. "Will you _please_ not do that to my body in public?" she begged.

Drabble 9: Playing With Food

Baldor stuck his chopsticks up his nose and crossed his eyes as he grinned at Krantz. Krantz, not to be beaten, balanced his rice bowl on top of his helmet and hung a few pieces of seaweed down the sides, like hair. Across the table, Janos used his glove to snatch up pieces of sushi and hang them from the ceiling. Next to him, Xiao had disguised himself as a chef and was giving a lecture on the proper way to prepare fugu, none of his information correct.

Sephiria sighed and buried her face in her hands. Belze patted her comfortingly on the back. Aloud, she swore, "This is the last time we hold the annual party at a Japanese restaurant." She paused and remembered last year's fiasco at the Mexican restaurant and the shear number of farts brought on by refried beans. And the year before at the Italian restaurant and the air strike spaghetti. And the year before that, at the German restaurant and the sour kraut food fight.

"We will never eat out together ever again," she decided firmly and dodged a dodged a chopstick as Mason demonstrated how to eat ramen without any utensils.

Drabble 10: Smoker's Prerogative

As he walked along the street, Sven reached into his pocket and pulled out the cigarette packet. He absently pulled one out and then reached for his lighter. He frowned and groped around in his pocket. When he couldn't find the lighter, he searched through his other pockets, but with no more success. He frowned and looked at his cigarette sadly. It wasn't much use to him if it wasn't lit.

He looked up to see a fancy restaurant across the street. He shrugged and walked over. When he entered the restaurant, the maitre d' sneered at his rumpled suit and opened his mouth to comment. But Sven strode right past him and up to the closest table where a couple sat. Ignoring everyone, Sven lit his cigarette with the candle on the table. "Thanks," he said, and walked back out of the restaurant.


End file.
